Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Write don't sleep
Well, sleep is hard to find these days so I might as well write. It's hard to figure out why I can't sleep, besides the fact I slept most of the day. I'm generally anxious, which is frustrating because it's not one thing I can nail down and say, yes this is bothering me. While there are those things, the bulk of them together confuse me and misdirect me, so I couldn't worry about just one thing if I tried. I'm trying to figure out exactly what it is I'm afraid of. It might be being homeless and jobless, or having a job I need but don't love. I'm very concerned that I don't have a great passion in my life. It's hard to be disciplined when one feels listless all the time. I'm trying to enjoy my remaining time here but it's hard. I feel pushed out and away. I know I'm not at the vital center of this place anymore, that it does not need me (if it ever did)! So here I am, rambling on and typing away when I should be sleeping. Sleep, please come soon.