Bin Laden's Death and Vonnegut the Prophet

It's been really interesting to see the global community, and especially my Facebook and Twitter friends, processing the meaning of Bin Laden's death.

The responses can generally be grouped into 3 categories (because Cicero said so...tricolon anyone?):

1. Unbridled enthusiasm, fueled by the "I bleed Red White and Blue" sentiment of true patriots. 
2. Gratitude that a truly evil person is no longer alive, that "justice" has been done, but not overly enthusiastic because terrorism still exists and nothing can take away the pain of the many victims of Bin Laden's terrorism. 
3. Those whose moral or religious worldviews suggest that violence leads to more violence, and that we should pray for our enemies, and thus cannot support celebrating his death. 

I don't think any response is necessarily more "right" than another. Are you going to tell a family member of a 9/11 victim not to celebrate, but pray for the thousands of members of Al Qaeda still alive? I'm sure some religious figures might, but I wouldn't. That's just insensitive. That's a form of violence. 

Are you going to tell a pacifist or someone with intensely worldview-forming religious beliefs that they should be celebrating in the streets and quit with their unpatriotic whining? You might, but it won't change their mind, and they'll probably judge you for it. 

How about telling the middle-of-the-roaders to pick a side and get off the fence (it's probably really uncomfortable sitting there anyway). Maybe, but I think there's a certain attractive wisdom in the "golden mean," here as always. 

Those in the middle know that one less breathing (which is synonymous with hateful, murderous, ignorant, life-hating, death-worshipping) terrorist (of any nationality, ethnicity, or religious or ideological persuasion) is overall a good thing for the world. They may celebrate, but they're not happy about the fact that this is the kind of world in which we are put into situations in which we have to decide whether or not it is right to celebrate someone's death. They know that "justice" in this world is an offensive farce. They're not ready to let blind Justice put one terrorist's death on one side of the scales and the thousands of dead (and the millions of lives impacted by their deaths) on the other and see if they balance out -- because they know they don't, they won't, and they never will. 

This is why Kurt Vonnegut was a "prophet," in whatever sense you care to take that term. Why use prophet, a term that is loaded with sacred and religious meaning, to describe a self-professed "humanist" (as if that was antithetical to religious values)? A prophet is someone with more insight than the rest of us on the way things really are, and actually has the guts to communicate that insight. Vonnegut called a spade a spade. 

"Dwayne's bad chemicals made him take a loaded thirty-eight caliber revolver from under his pillow and stick it in his mouth. This was a tool whose only purpose was to make holes in human beings." 
— Kurt Vonnegut (Breakfast of Champions)

As a prophet, he unflinchingly exposed the rock-bottom absurdity and hypocrisy inherent in the human condition. I wonder how he would respond to such news as we have been obsessed over lately. I can only hope I would have the grace and sense of decency to have half of his love of humanity, as terribly messed-up 

as we all clearly are. 

God help us all. 

Thoughts?

Don't Buy Kids Toys

Like my life in general, I've learned a little too late that April is "Financial Literacy Month" to make much use of it. However, in its honor, I'd like to offer a financial tip based on something I've realized of late. It's a very simple rule that will improve the quality of others' lives.

Don't buy kids toys for their birthday or religious holiday where gifts are exchanged.

Buy them U.S. Savings Bonds instead.

Here's the thing: when you're a little kid, you're basically stupid. You don't know what you want, or need, for that matter. The adults in your life will try to guide you on what you should want and supply you with what you need, but they too can be shortsighted.

If you buy a kid a toy, they'll probably play with it for a week until they're entirely bored with it. If it's a great toy, maybe a month. If it's a stupid toy (even though kids are stupid, they know the difference between a good and bad toy) it won't last a day. Before you know it, you're taking boatloads of toys (toy boats?) to Goodwill or Salvation Army, while your kid moves on ravenously to the next toy.

Then they get to their 20-somethings in an economic downturn. Not only do they not use any of their toys from childhood (if they do, well, you've got different issues than financial advice to work on), they also don't have any money. They might even get nostalgic and go to Goodwill and buy back their SAME childhood toys with money they don't have (i.e. your money). So what's the solution to all this?

Buy them Savings Bonds. From their first birthday until whenever you decide to cut them off. No, they don't rattle, flash, blink, stack, or should be used for teething purposes. Yes, the kid might accuse you later in life of a desolate childhood, having grown up in a house without disposable, germ-infested, toxic toys. But they sure will thank you when those puppies mature and they cash them in and make bank. It might even be enough to end your estranged relationship.

No comments, please, this one's a freebie for ya'll. Here's to financial literacy!

What I Want Tells Me What I Should Do

Following close behind, on the heels of my last post (redundant much?), I wanted to come up with a practical list of the things I want. This seems so vainglorious, I know ("vanity, vanity, all is vanity"). I'm scandalizing myself by doing this.

But I'm thinking that if I have a clear picture of what I want, it can help me decide what to do, and motivate me to actually do it. I hope this kind of thinking/exercise might be helpful to others as well. This list is in no particular order of importance. Here goes:

What I Want

1. A dog. I love dogs so much. Whenever I see people walking their dogs, I think, that could be me. They make fantastic companions, and since I spend so much time by myself, a dog would really improve the quality of my life. Also, being responsible for the life of another living creature would be good for me, I think. I would feel so grown-uppy. Requirements: money to feed (don't have), time to walk (definitely have), living space (not for a dog, sadly)
2. My Own Apartment. This seems like a no-brainer. Of course I need my own space. But my income hasn't been consistent enough to make that happen. Requirements: steady income, with enough left over for food (for me and my dog). 
3. To Get Engaged. Stop it, you're making me blush. Also no-brainer. Requirements: Haven't chased the girl away with my dumb jokes yet (check!), but also need stable income to make it happen, preferably in a respectable field. No one wants to be engaged to a circus performer (sorry to the many circus performers who read my blog). 
4. A 13 in. Macbook Pro. I'm a creative guy. And Apple's marketing campaigns have unanimously informed me that all creative people need Macs. So fortunately that decision was made for me (whew). Seriously though, they do everything I want a computer to do. Enough said. Requirements: $$. 
5. An iPad. It doesn't even have to be the 2nd Gen, although it would seem a little silly not to be ahead of the curve and get one right before Apple releases the iPad 3. Requirements: $
6. Good Health Care. It shows what a backward country I live in that I even have to want this (because I don't have it). Requirements: full-time job, part-time Starbucks, $$ to buy my own. 
7. Get My Financial Life in Shape. Start an emergency savings fund. Start a retirement savings account. Pay off outstanding debt. Start investing in stuff. Requirements: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Honestly, that's pretty much it. Of course there's a million little incidentals I also want, like chips and beer and HBO and to be in shape. But it's crazy to think that I can just sit and make a list like that. 

So now, how does what I want tell me what I should/need to do? 

Well, basically all those things above require a steady income with full-time work. And I see two ways to accomplish that: getting an entry-level job somewhere, or starting my own company. 

Hm...which one will I choose? Food for thought (delicious). Has anyone else done something like this? How has it helped you? 

The Undesiring Midwestern Ethos

A friend asked me a little bit ago, "What would your dream job be?" I kind of stumbled to think of a response. "Well," I tried, and mumbled something that came to mind at the moment.

I was talking to another friend, and I said, "Man, it would be so cool to be a graphic designer." In jest, they said, "Oh, so that's what you want to be today." What's with this inability to claim what I want?

I blame it on the ethos of the Midwest. Where I grew up, it's not so much about what you want to do, as it is what you should do. That sounds bad, and it's not quite right. Don't get me wrong - my parents have been extremely supportive and always encouraged me to dream big and do what makes me happy in life.

But the overall Midwestern ethos that's been ingrained in me, that I'll never really know the full influence of but that I get glimpses of like this, whispers life's not about you getting what you want, it's about helping others get what they want. Ideally, you quietly go about your work, you don't try to be flashy, and you shouldn't expect much of things. You're a servant. You exist to make others happy.

Is this an entirely bad mentality? Of course not. We should all try to make a positive difference in the life of others. We should be responsible citizens, giving back with our time, talents, and other resources. But sometimes the pendulum swings way too far, and gets stuck. This mentality is bad when it doesn't allow a person to claim a sense of self. It can result in one only wanting to make other people happy, wanting to fulfill others' wants. Or only wanting for myself what others want for me - which causes the "making others happy" drive to kick in, until there's nothing left. At the end of the day, what do I really want?

This all sounds ethereal, existential, and almost whiny. But I mean it actually to be quite practical. I'm afraid this post is getting a little long already, so I'm going to split it into two. Please read on to the next post to read about me working this out.

Thanks for stopping by. Midwesterns - do you agree with this? Does it at least resonate with you or am I an alien? Others - does this make sense at all? Is it not a Midwestern thing after all? Comments welcome!

6 Tips for Students from a Substitute Teacher

I've seen a lot in my year as a substitute teacher. Experienced a lot.

Actually that's not entirely true. But I'll play to my strong suit and write authoritatively from my wealth of inexperience on a subject.

This is for all the high schoolers out there, none of whom read my blog.

1. When you ask to go to the bathroom, I know that the chances of you actually needing to use it are as tiny as my paycheck. I know that you instead will wander the halls aimlessly, just for the thrill of getting out of class and having "put one over" on the sub. Well, you didn't. There's just not an easy way to retrieve you. Sending another student out to get you is like sending a search party out in Sasquatch-controlled territory. They're just as liable to join you and not come back as anything. 
2. When you ask to go to lunch early, or leave class early at the end of the day, and justify it by saying that your teacher ALWAYS lets you, I know that they don't. Your teachers are there to put even a smidgen of structure into your rapidly-spiraling-out-of-control-mainly-digital lives. And the secret is, you don't know that you need it, but you really do need structure. It will help you in the long run. Even though now it seems oppressive and unfair, you will find soon enough that the trick to life is repeatedly forcing yourself to do things that you don't want to do. So better to start now.
3. Having computers in class all day every day is actually a huge disadvantage to you, because they don't make you more productive like they're supposed to. Sorry to pull out the old man card, but when I went to high school, no one had computers. Hell, I had a pager in 9th grade, and I wasn't even a drug dealer. Would I have wanted a laptop or iPad in class? Yes. But I'm glad I didn't have one. I can distract myself with a paper clip, and the only notifications it sends me is that it's too bent out of shape to return to it's primary function. Oh, Facebook can be used collaboratively to work on class projects, blah blah blah. So can meeting in the library face to face. I'm normally a huge proponent of doing as many things digitally as one can, but I see how much time is wasted, how much of your parents money, frankly, is wasted by you "surfing" the web. You don't use that terminology anymore, but there's a reason that most surfers are beach "bums". Close your laptop and read a book, for the future of the world's sake, please.
4. Your teachers are as stressed and overworked as you feel. By that I mean, you think you have it rough. And in a certain way you do. Especially with the sense of doom that every test and quiz is that one thing that might lower your grade and prevent you from getting into the college of your dreams and then you'll end up as a substitute teacher like me. But your teachers have so much more going on in their lives than you'll ever know. While they're at school, you're pretty high up on their priority list, but outside of that, you're relative to kids and family and actually trying to have a life outside of their jobs. The only reason I tell you all this is that you should do whatever you can to make it easier on them. By that I mean, do the sort of work that helps your teacher help you. Go out of your way to proofread your essays. Be the sort of student you would want to have. And trust me, this isn't just about them, it's about you. The better and more teacher-friendly your work is, the better you'll do. I had the wrong idea about that in high school - with a few exceptions I thought that my teachers and I weren't on the same side. But you're all in this educational endeavor together, so show some respect, and you'll see that respect returned to you. 
5. Don't wait until college, or after college like I did, to start thinking about what you actually, practically want to do with your life. The more work you do ahead of time on this, the more things you try out and decide aren't for you, the easier it will be to land in something you really want and that fits you well. Also, learn about personal finance. I don't care how rich your parents are, the only way you're going to feel positive about your eventual independence from them is to learn how to manage your own money and live within your means. I should have learned this much earlier. 
6. Always address your teachers by name, and say please and thank you. Duh!

Thanks for stopping by! Comments and additions to this list welcome below!

Earth Week Rant

It took me a while to figure out why the little "Versus" logo in the bottom right of my screen while watching the NHL Playoffs is green. I thought there was something wrong with my TV, perhaps, and it's not displaying red correctly, which is the normal color of the logo.

Then I realized -- it's Earth Week. Or something. It's at least the week that contains Earth Day. Why that makes it Earth Week I'm not sure, but bear with me.

Here's where the rant starts. There's a huge difference between genuine environmentalism, a true desire and interest to do whatever one can to care for our natural environment, and lengthen our tenure on our fragile world,  and jumping on a marketing bandwagon.

Now that I think about it, I HATE the "Green" movement. It's the equivalent of saying that consumers can make the same bad choices for the future of our planet that we've been making since the industrial revolution, only now we have the moral sanction to continue doing so.

O wow, this (fill in the blank) is made from sustainable materials! I should probably consume even more of it, because hell, it's not like it's BAD for the earth. Sure, I won't exactly recycle it and continue the cycle of sustainability, but the fact that I'm choosing it (and PAYING MORE to do so...I'm so morally superior than the people who choose the non-sustainable option) should make all the difference, right?

The "Green" marketing movement is the worst thing ever to happen to environmentalism. It's domesticated it. What happened to tree huggers? You're telling me they work at Walmart now? I'm not buying it (literally and figuratively). Yes, I love my solar lights. I rock them whenever I can. But I'm smart enough to know that if I was a true environmentalist, I would change substantial aspects of my lifestyle.

I hate to be a naysayer (do I?) but all the little things we think we're doing to save the environment are just drops in the proverbial ocean that will one day cover Manhattan when the ice caps melt. I'm not trying to point fingers. I'm as guilty as anyone else. But at least I know when I'm being manipulated by companies that only care about the value of their stock, and certainly not the environment (unless wetland protected animals are inconveniently squatting on some natural resources they desperately need). American Capitalism is not a "long-term" thing, friends. It's about profitability and valuation now.

Should we as consumers make the best choices we can for the environment? Of course. But we have to know that we have to think beyond the "green" marketing campaigns if we're really going to make a difference.

Going to shut down my computer now to save energy, but I would love to hear your comments.

Macro, Micro, and Starcraft II's Life Lessons

Now, I wouldn't call myself a "gamer". Not totally. I don't play enough, and consistently, to really fall neatly into that category. But I love video games. Growing up, my brother and I combined owned every major system, with the glaring exception of Sega Genesis. Fortunately, my bro rectified that by buying a Dreamcast. I've probably spent as many hours playing video games over my lifetime as bathing, which for some gamers is optional. But this post isn't about the games themselves, it's about the life lessons you learn from them.

I'm thinking of one big one in particular. The importance of managing macro/micro in strategy games, especially the Warcraft/Starcraft series.

Jim's comment on the last post, and my reply, spurred in my mind the idea that you always need to be focused on the little details of life, working as hard and concentrated as you can on the task at hand. But we all know that's not enough. You also need to simultaneously hold the big picture in mind, to think strategically and long term, all the while utilizing the work on the little details to build toward the ultimate goal of the big picture.

Full disclosure time: I'm not a Starcraft II player. But my brother is. He's played in national tournaments. He's a pretty good player, but not only that, he has a great mind for the game. He's able to speak very intelligently about the minutest aspects of the game, which is where I derive my understanding of the macro/micro concept.

As stated in the link above, micro is the proper and effective management of the little details: what your army is actually doing. Micro is each task that you must individually execute to work towards victory. It's what's right in front of you. You have to do this well or you've got no hope of winning.

Macro, on the other hand, is managing the big picture. It's making sure you have just the right amount of units, supplies, etc. It's making sure your overall efforts, micro, etc. are working in concert to produce the best overall strategy to ensure victory.

You need both to win. You can't focus on one and ignore the other. Both need to be managed constantly, and effectively, in order to win. Unfortunately, I don't think I learned this lesson early enough in life. I've always been good on the task at hand, and move quickly from one to another. But it's the overall strategy I've been lacking in. My macro is weak. I don't think I've done a good enough job thinking strategically about each and every action in my life, and whether it's building toward something or nothing. Of course, I know that not everything one does should be part of a grand scheme to build an empire. You need to have fun too. But there's something about the most driven, motivated, and focused people who relentlessly manage their micro and macro to such an extent that it all fits together and works together almost seamlessly. The best Starcraft players do this. The best life players do this.

It's interesting that we use "game" language to describe success in life. We label some people "losers," and others describe themselves as "Winning! Duh!" Game Theory is definitely something I want to learn more about. But in the meantime, I'm trying to boost my macro skillz. Any thoughts on how you manage these (either in game or in life)?

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