A sad news story caught my eye: "A 23-year-old British man died after ingesting two spoonfuls of caffeine powder that had the same potency as 70 cans of energy drinks." 70! I can't believe Monster hasn't already developed an energy drink that has the potency of 70 energy drinks. Now they can't because it would just be insensitive!
As if that wasn't bad enough, he washed down the powder with an energy drink! I think it's clear that the whole "extreme" movement of "extreme" dudes drinking "extreme" drinks has gone far enough. Yes, I have enjoyed the rare Red Bull from time to time, but I just don't get the whole culture where you have to get so juiced on stimulants to do the things you probably wouldn't do without them in the first place. What kind of civil society is based on people running around buzzed out of their gourd, driving motorcycles over rows and rows of school buses? Who got all those buses to park like that anyway? Is there even a school nearby?
Of course, on the other end of the spectrum are things like "Drank," which is designed to "Slow Your Roll." It's billed as an "EXTREME RELAXATION dietary supplement." Chill out man. You need some "Drank!"
Whatever happened to the Golden Mean, where we just drink things that hydrate us and don't keep us up for days or put us to sleep in seconds? Water is delicious, and if you make coffee strong enough, it's pretty EXTREME. I wish you all the best wishes on sane beverage choices.
P.S. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE NEW GATORADE G SERIES - I WILL NEITHER PRIME NOR RECOVER.
Showing posts with label energy drinks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label energy drinks. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Is it wrong to love irony more than your mother? What's that? You have to run and ask her? I knew it. You're hopeless.
Just like the hardest part of being a stand-up comedian is standing up, the hardest part of writing is writing.
I walked into the bathroom today and saw an empty "MONSTER" energy drink can CRUSHED in trash can. My first thought was that I am not cool enough to drink that. Now I think, Dane Cook definitely is, which might explain his fantastic and extensive body of work.
My brother asked me if I was just "going through a blog-o-phase". Hopefully, like bad Chinese food whizzing through my digestive tract, the need to poop all over the internet will end someday. I just can't say when. Sorry brother.
Just like the hardest part of being a stand-up comedian is standing up, the hardest part of writing is writing.
I walked into the bathroom today and saw an empty "MONSTER" energy drink can CRUSHED in trash can. My first thought was that I am not cool enough to drink that. Now I think, Dane Cook definitely is, which might explain his fantastic and extensive body of work.
My brother asked me if I was just "going through a blog-o-phase". Hopefully, like bad Chinese food whizzing through my digestive tract, the need to poop all over the internet will end someday. I just can't say when. Sorry brother.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)